The Pumpkin Patch

Auntie Tiff kept Tracen for me for a couple of days while I went to the valley. She was going to the Pumpkin Patch with Justin's mom and took Tracen. He loved it and talked about it for a long time. He is still talking about it. Thank you for the memory Auntie Tiffy!

Yuck!

Uncle Justin went dove hunting and let the boys help him clean them and gut them. Preston loved it-Tracen, not as much. Preston has been talking about killing birds, specifically owls, since. Justin and Nathan are so good at letting the kids be a part of things I would never think they could handle.

Softie Uncle Justin

Tiffany emailed me this photo from when she was watching Kelci for me so I could go to school. Kelci was crying and all of a sudden started calming down. She went to check on her and this is what she found.

Sisters

I just saw the article on the Arizona Republic's front page of their website about the Neilsons that were burned in the plane crash here it town. I know many people keep up with the blogs or have heard the story on the news or one of the TV shows who have done segments on this family. Lorri, my sister-in-law was friends with this family when they lived in New Jersey.

As I read this story my heart began to ache with happiness. listening to these sisters and their love for one another makes me miss my own sister, who has been gone for eight and a half years. When I hear them say that aside from their husband, they would want their sister by their side, I can relate. I remember sharing a bedroom with my sister, who was only fifteen months older than me. I remember playing dumb little games at night when we were supposed to be sleeping. I remember having heart to heart talks with each other.

I remember, often, her telling me to learn from her mistakes and take advantage of the lessons that she learned the hard way. She knew that she needed to make better choices and she wanted the best for me. I remember seeing her for the last time. She had a Mountain Dew and Cap'n Crunch for breakfast that morning.

I had gone to Utah to visit and had met her in West Valley to hang out for a while. I headed back to Eureka to stay one more night with my grandma. I was disappointed that I had come all the way from Arizona to visit and had not gotten to spend as much time with her as I wanted-how selfish I was.

I woke up the next morning to see her car parked in the driveway. She had come up to see me one last time. I was so happy, but not sure I made this as clear to her as she deserved. I suppose she wanted to see me again too. We had shared so much in life; happiness, pain and life's lessons.

I miss her lots and think of her more often than that. I know she would be a great aunt to my children-I know how she was as a sister. I feel her presence in my life still. Though I do not see her, I know she is there. When my babies smile and I can't see what is making them happy, I know it is her or their Nana that are taking precious moments away from angel work to connect with my children.

Speaking of Nana, I thought of the fun that my sister-in-laws had with their mom. When the article talks about the sisters and their mom laying on Stephanie's guest bed, teasing and hanging out, I think of Nana and her girls. I know from them, how sweet and loving she was.

I encourage anyone who loves someone to read the article found here http://www.azcentral.com/community/mesa/articles/2008/10/26/20081026sisters1026a1.html and cherish the special moments they shared with that person. While these people are gone, their are people still in your lives that need you just as much-or more. Make more memories with them and spread the love you have inside.

Kelci's first time sick

Today Kelci has been sick. She is so miserable. She just wants held and won't eat much. She has goopy eyes and sounds all stuffy. Daddy finally got her to feel better a bit. She fell asleep on him after he gave her medicine. When she went to bed tonight he had a heater, warm humidifier and a color changing thing all in her room to make her comfortable. He is such a great daddy-especially when someone is sick. He remembers mom getting him sprite at the gas station any time he was sick. She must have taken good care of him when he was sick because he does for others now. These pictures were after Kelci had medicine.

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Glad I had my camera

I was waiting for Tiffany to get a letter ready for me to drop off at the post office in Show Low on my way home. Kelci was fussy so I went and got her situated in the van. When I came back into the house I found Justin wrestling on the floor with the kids. I thought it was so cute that I just stood there watching. I then realized that I had my camera in the van. I ran out to get it, but figured he would be done when I got back. He was still wrestling with them when I got back and continued for a long time. The kids were loving it. He did not know I was taking pictures, at least for a little while. This was a really sweet memory I am sure the kids will treasure.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

A Wonderful Gpa

My dad is so sweet and good with my kids. Whenever he stays at our house he always makes Preston's favorite breakfast-French toast. He will even let Preston and the others help flip the French toast over when it is time. He plays games with the kids and takes them to the park. He and Tracen are pretty good buddies. Tracen will choose Gpa over mommy a lot. He has a special bond with him. I will catch my dad holding Kelci whenever he gets a chance. He is so sweet and gentle with her. These are a few photos I snatched a couple of weeks ago.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Rough Day

What a day! I have officially decided that I do not want to teach for a career. I enjoy some aspects of teaching, but do not want to deal with all the other stuff that goes a long with it. I feel like I can be a good mom or a good teacher, but think it would be difficult to do both at this point in my life. I have always wanted to be in business and think I am going to pursue that avenue instead.

Life has been so crazy lately. We are now not renting our home to the family we were planning on. Things just were going in a direction that was not good for us in the long run. I hope things will work out. We will be down in the valley as of Monday the 27th. I can't believe it. I have so many mixed emotions right now about everything.

The more time goes on the more I realize that I do not have a plan for life. I have a lot of wants and needs and recognize my blessings and hope for the best. I love my life and my family no matter what. I really treasure the time that I have with them and hope to be granted much more time in the future. I know my Heavenly Father loves me and wants what is best for me.

I am excited for my new adventure and am learning to go with the flow and recognize good things when they happen. I am blessed to have such supportive and loving people in my life and willing to serve me and my family. To everyone in my life-thank you for all you do. I really love and appreciate you all! You are what makes this time in my life bearable.

Humbled

A lot has happened in the last week in our lives. Last Saturday I called my Aunt Annette in Apache Junction. I was calling to see if she knew of any jobs that Nathan could apply for down there and if he could stay with her family while he worked if he did find anything down there. She was more than an answer to our prayers. She said that the school she works at needs subs really badly and that other schools in the area do too. They pay almost twice what St Johns does a day. She and my uncle were more than willing to allow our family to stay with them.

To top it off, we had found a family that we really like that was interested in renting our home. We will still pay a portion of our mortgage,but trust them and feel really good about them. They will move in on the first most likely.

It seems as if a week ago nothing was falling into place. Now things are moving along, but in a different direction then I ever imagined. Nathan is still waiting to hear back on a job in St Johns, we are hoping he gets it. But now we have a plan for whatever happens.

I paid four times the amount I usually do on fast offerings last time. I heard that the more you pay the more financially related blessings you will receive. I was really beginning to wonder-not enough faith I am afraid to say. But I am pleased to see the Lord's hand in my life-even if it is opening a different door than I thought.

Leaving makes me sad and I will miss so many things I love so much-people too. But going someplace familiar with people that we love is comforting. We are so blessed!

Simple Truths

I really enjoyed conference, there was so much said that helped put me at ease with the world right now. I hate election time because it is so doom and gloom all the time. The world is made to look like it is coming to an end and that party is the only one who can save it. Conference really put things in perspective for me. Follow the commandments and that is all you need to do because you can't control what happens tomorrow.

I enjoyed many talks immensely. I love to listen to Monson and loved when he said "do not let a problem to be solved get in the way of someone to be loved." I think that is how he said it-I did write it down. I loved this so much because I really have been thinking a lot about how time flies and we need to just enjoy one another.

I liked the talk in the last session about testimonies and how they are constantly growing and that we do not need to have one "special" experience to prove the gospel without a shadow of a doubt to us. Simple truths.

There were so many good talks this time. I think the older I get the more I get out of conference. I love to have the Spirit in my home for those two days so strongly. It really does make a difference. I love that I feel like I can be a better person after listening to conference. I love the simple parts of the speakers lives that they share and prove to us that they are just as human as we are. It encourages me to do better and try harder.

Anyway, I just really enjoyed the words they shared to help us all. I hope that I can put their ideas and testimonies into action in my life and grow closer to my Father in Heaven.

A bad time to toot

via videosift.com

Picasa Web Albums - Nathan - 7-31-08

Picasa Web Albums - Nathan - 7-31-08

Friends

Last night I said goodbye to a great friend. It got me thinking a lot about people who impact our lives. There are those people that you feel refreshed and charged to take on life after visiting and then there are those that drain you. This friend was the first of the two for me.

She made me want to be a better person in every capacity; wife, mother, friend, daughter and sister. She is a great example of patience and love. She has a very positive outlook on life and a strong testimony. She is a great mom, I love watching her with her kids. My favorite thing about her is she appreciates the little things in life. Things her kids say and do, flowers, small town life and so on.

I hope that when I die people will remember me this way. I want my children to remember me smiling and enjoying life. I want to treasure every cute thing my children say and do. I want to be remembered as a happy person overall. Life is too short to take "forgranite" a little geology joke here:)

So to this friend and her new journey in life-GOOD LUCK! I can't wait to have you home again. I know that people where you are going are blessed to have you and your good heart. Come back often, but enjoy your new home. Thank you for your friendship and influence.

Substituting

It was really a lot of fun! I was really amazed at how much I enjoyed it. I think I really would like to teach. I definitely enjoy the older kids-no more preschool for me. The kids were really pretty good for me. I tried to lay down the rules first and then let them enjoy themselves when their work was done. It helped that I knew quite a few of the kids too. I am excited to substitute again.

Nathan is famous with the kids at the middle school too. They really seem to enjoy him, and he doesn't hardly interact with them at all yet. I think he will be a great teacher. One of the kids in class yesterday was a little girl Nate taught in primary years ago. She really liked him as a teacher. I overheard her little friend tell her she thought Nate was cute when she was little. I thought that was so sweet.

Family History

We went to visit Dad and Elaine last night and Dad had just gotten some old slides turned into photos. He was really excited to share them with us. His memory was not super great with some of them, but he did know quite a bit of the information. He has such a cute way of explaining things, he is so literal. I have learned from my grandmother that you should never waste an opportunity to get family history. So we started writing what Dad would say about each photo on the back so we would have some sort of a record. The following slide show is in his own words.

Some Tanner Family Photos

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Missing Them

I have an opportunity to substitute teach tomorrow and we could use the money right now especially, so I took it. I am excited, but nervous. I am teaching the 8th grade math class for Mrs. Reynolds. I was really hoping to start out with a younger age, but this will be fun-I hope.

Nathan is still waiting for his fingerprint card to come back so he can send off for his substituting certificate. He interviews tomorrow for a local position that would allow us to stay here and keep our home. We are afraid to get our hopes up for anything right now and are just thankful for what work has come our way.

I am doing okay with the thought of teaching tomorrow, but have struggled being away from my children-Kelci especially. I have never left anyone of my children at such a young age. I know that I will see them tomorrow, they are staying the night at my mom's. I know they will be taken care of, but I feel like a part of me is missing.

I do not know how parents can handle being away from their children on a regular basis and can't imagine how difficult sending them to a daycare with lots of other children would be. I have been fortunate that my children have been able to go with family who love them and will take good care of them. I still miss them though.

Preston told me today that I am a good mom. I was so happy to hear that from him. He is really a sweet child. Even if he does sneak up from his nap and take pictures with my digital camera. He did not know yet that I had found the camera when he said to me "Mom, I think our camera has legs and maybe even arms, but it ran away." He makes me laugh. He took pictures of the things he loves. His batman shoes, batman trick-or-treating bucket that Auntie Tiffy bought him and his inflatable SpongeBob Daddy got him at the fake circus(that is another story).

My children have brought so much happiness to my life that I can hardly remember what life was like without them. I never thought my heart could hold so much love. I truly am amazed at the miracle of life and love. I try and think about how Heavenly Father must feel about all of his children and I cannot even begin to comprehend it. I have such a different perspective of the Atonement after becoming a mother. I can never question my Heavenly Father's love for me after he allowed his Son to go through such heartache and misery so that I could have a second chance.