By Nate Tanner
I have often thought about the things that I would like to tell my mother if she were alive. How much I love her; the things that I appreciate about her; the things that I recognize that she has done for me in my life. Even more often I think about the questions that I would like to ask her. What was I like as a baby? What was she like as a child? I have dreamed about her being a grandmother to my children; knowing my loving wife Terra; Having my mom tell me that I am a good father is the ultimate dream that I continually have.
I miss my mom so much but something very profound always seems to seep into my mind. Am I taking advantage of the time that I have with my father? Am I spending all my time feeling sorry that I lost my mother that I am neglecting my father just to someday feel all the same regret and sorrow for the time I lost with my dad. Granted, he is a grandfather to my children and knows my wife, but when he is gone, the time that follows will be time that I will be missing him and will wish I had more time.
I know I am failing at this and maybe this should be some kind of resolution, to better take advantage of the time I have with my father and maybe even others as well.
This week my cousin was found dead and he is only in his mid 30's with young children. A very sad situation and I have already thought about how I wished that I had kept in better touch with him. He was a good guy and I would have really enjoyed to have seen him once in awhile. That is my regret right now. Well then, should I just sit back and feel sorry that I did not visit him in several years until the next tragedy and feel sorry about that one and always be behind or should I actually catch on to how this works and start making the most out of the opportunities for relationships with those that will have them with me?
If this blog is acting as a journal for my children, I want to make it clear to never let things of this world get between you and your loved ones. Don't let your pride stop you from being a brother, sister, son, daughter, friend etc. and to never forget that things are just things and don't really matter. People make mistakes and need to be forgiven, always. And to never take people for granted because you never know when they will be gone. Love unconditionally. And when you have children of your own, kiss them way too many times, hug them so much from day one, always tell them that you love them and that they are the greatest blessing to you. As your Nana would say, "don't sweat the small stuff". Always make more deposits than withdraws from their emotional bank accounts. Get on the floor and play with their toys with them. And anytime you have to punish them, tell them that you love them, sincerely.
I know this is a long post, but sometimes you feel like you just want to make sure some things are said. I do love my family so much and I hope they know that. I hope my wife can some day say that I was a good husband and that my kids never feel badly in any way about their upbringing.
I love you guys,
your daddy and husband, Nathan Tanner
Preston picked out two of these nerf dart guns for Tracen's birthday. He loved his so much he wanted to sleep with it last night. How neat it is that children can appreciate the little things so much they want to have them by them at all times. I love the innocence of youth.
Kelci sporting Cars undies that her brothers put on her. She wore them all day that day. They were so proud. She really is going to have to learn to hold her own with them.
Ran around while I tried to get a good picture of his wild hair.
Preston wanted his picture taken with his special key to his treasure box (our fireproof safe).
Tracen got all dressed up for church! He even has a "tag" on, tie in case you were wondering. This is my favorite sweater on him because it is as colorful as he is.
Brekyn and Preston taking turns on her pink Nintendo DS. They are really sweet together!
Preston put the bib on Kelci backwards so she could be a super hero! She has no chance with two brothers.
Brekyn was so proud of Kelci for doing push-ups, she even put this cute headband on her, but it looks more like a sweatband than a headband. Aren't they so sweet!
Kelci anxious to crawl!
The girls in their matching dresses. I was so excited to find these in both their sizes!
Kelci hangin' out with her rescuer, Grandpa! She loves her cuddle time with him every night.
Kelci playing in her saucer-these are some of my favorite pictures of all my kids-playing with the colorful toys in this saucer.
Preston went shopping with me the day after New Years-we were both super sick and only went to get groceries, but then mom found lots of stuff for Ebay and ended up taking a really long time. He was such a good sport, never complaining or getting into thins, just sitting in the cart covered with stuff waiting for mom to finish shopping. We did make a mad dash to the bathroom four times for him while we were there-poor kid, but he was so good. He asked me if he could get a snake-I never thought that 88 cent snake would keep him entertained as long as it did. He even put it in a seat belt in the van and named it "Snake Tanner".
The snake looks real in this picture Preston took.
Kelci just hanging out on the floor. She is so easy going-I love it!
Tracen put these antlers on Kelci one day, they looked so cute I had to take a picture. Tracen is really good about sharing with Kelci-he loves to bring her toys, blankets, and food. He will even make her bottles of water and try to feed her. He is a great big brother!
Kelci is now on solids! I wanted to nurse only for the first year and my dr. laughed at me. He said he has never seen an American woman nurse without supplementing for a whole year. He told me to go as long as I could and we would reevaluate at each appointment to see how Kelci was doing. She was throwing up a lot in the last week and so I took her in to the dr. We decided that since she was not sleeping so well at night and her weight gain was just "okay" that we would introduce solids to her diet.
She caught on to eating quicker than my boys, she is not great at it yet, but way easier than Tracen for sure. She loves to eat! These pictures were taken by Preston since mom was feeding her.
Preston building a bird house on the front porch. He really badly wanted to use his tools and mom didn't want him putting nails or holes into the walls in the house. We settled on using a piece of wood outside. He is definitely related to his grandpas! He said to me in this picture, "How do I hold the nails and the hammer with these gloves?" They are a little big if you couldn't tell.
He looks like he should be in a commercial-with his shirt off and his six pack!
This was right after he got his new tool belt and all his tools. He loves the gloves!
Tracen just got down on the floor with Kelci and was playing with her, making her laugh and kissing her. The next thing I see was this-I had to take a picture. He really loves her, but can be rough with her if you couldn't tell. He really does love his "Kelci Pooh".
This is Tracen potty training-finally! He puts his own underwear on, thus the reason they are on backwards. He loves to do the "pee, pee dance" when he is done and have everyone make a big deal about the fact that he went. Whatever works! Can you tell he is related to Mazie with one cheek out?! Poor kid, a few days after he started potty training he got the stomach flu and had really bad diarreah. He had to sleep in a diaper and even ended up wearing one most of the time for a while, but would still go potty in the toilet when he could. He has been a really good sport about the whole thing. I am really glad to have him potty trained, for the most part now.
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